It’s Not Polite to Brag – But We MUST!

Self-promotion is by far the number one issue women struggle with in my coaching practice. It’s also the number one topic I’m asked to speak about to women’s groups and organizations. So, it makes sense to start off with a 10-part series that tackles the biggest issue that plagues us all…yes, me included!

Why is it so hard for women to toot their own horn? To sing their own praises? To confidently promote their value? It’s because one of the first lessons we learn as little girls is that it’s not polite to brag. Well, that lesson may have served us in the sandbox and on the playground, but it doesn’t serve is in a highly competitive workplace and job market.

Men, on the other hand, have a much easier time promoting themselves. They are encouraged and rewarded for being competitive and aggressive. The best example of this unfortunate double-standard is Donald Trump. As soon as he opens his mouth you know how much money he has, how well The Apprentice is doing in the ratings, and the names of all his famous friends.

Not only is it perceived as socially unacceptable, and downright rude, for women to speak boastfully, but we also have a tendency to commit the ultimate self-sabotaging sin, “The Triple D”…Downplay, Dismiss, and Diminish our achievements. How many times have you heard yourself describing your successes as “no big deal”, “it’s just part of my job”, or “anyone could have done that”?

GUILTY CONFESSION: I must admit I just committed the same sin yesterday, and I coach women on self-promotion everyday. Yikes! I have been nominated for the Outstanding Women in Business award by the Denver Business Journal and I wasn’t going to tell anyone. I actually convinced myself that it was “no big deal”, and didn’t want to bother anyone with the news.

I happened to see another nominee announce her good news on LinkedIn, and I felt like a fool.  She’s promoting herself, like a smart business woman should, and so should I. I posted my good fortune on LinkedIn and Facebook, and the support and well wishes were overwhelming. No one felt “bothered” by the news. Instead they were genuinely happy for me.  Lesson learned…hopefully.

The truth is, if you’re not promoting yourself and your accomplishments, you’re selling yourself short. It’s time to step up and stand out and finally master the art of self-promotion. You’re doing the work anyway, so why not seek the recognition you deserve.

Ladies, in the next 10 blog posts I will focus on this critical issue by discussing the Top 10 Secrets to Mastering the Art of Self-Promotion. I hope you will stay tuned, tell your friends, and get ready to start promoting yourself.